From “The hilarity of Harry Potter quotes when changing ‘wand’ to ‘willy’” Facebook Group:

• “The willy chooses the wizard, Mr Potter.”
• “Well, we’ll soon find out, won’t we?” said Snape smoothly. “…Willy out, Potter.” Harry moved into his usual position…
• “Panting, Harry fell forwards over the hydrangea bush, straightened up and stared around. There were several faces peering trough various nearby windows. Harry stuffed his willy hastily back into his jeans and tried to look innocent.”
• Ron and Malfoy looked at each other with their willy’s raised. Malfoy strolled towards Ron, flicking his willy vigourously as he edged closer to Ron. Ron anticipated the worst and gulped as the white substance flew out of Malfoy’s willy and hit him full on the face.
• ‘Now, Harry,’ said Lockhart, ‘when Draco points his willy at you, you do this.’ He raised his own willy, attempted a complicated sort of wiggling action and dropped it. Snape smirked as Lockhart quickly picked it up saying, ‘Whoops - my willy is a little over excited.’
• “There was a moment, in the graveyard, where Voldemort’s willy and mine sort of… connected.”
• “Are you OK?” said Harry urgently.”My willy,” said Ron. “Look at my willy.”It had snapped, almost in two; the tip was dangling limply, held on only by a few splinters.